Self Care for Busy Moms

In the whirlwind of daily life, it's all too easy for busy moms to overlook their own self-care. And I’ve been there. It wasn’t until my body said enough that I started to do something about it. Self-care takes some time, and that seems to be something we don’t take for ourselves. Amidst all our responsibilities of work, household management, and caring for loved ones, self-care often slips to the bottom of the priority list. However, neglecting self-care can have detrimental effects on physical health, mental clarity, and emotional resilience as I personally found out. 

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In the end, the only person that can decide what kind of self-care you need is you. Typically, self-care for moms starts by finding time to exercise, eating healthy, regular meals, getting enough sleep and reducing stress. At least that is where I started, and then grew from there.

There is no right or wrong way to start self-care as a mom, the most important part is just starting! My own self-care journey has been ongoing, and ever revolving, depending on the stage I’m at. I’d like to share with you the four pillars of self-care that helped me heal my mind and body: simple, slow living, happiness and wellbeing, and gratitude and mindfulness.

What is Slow, Simple Living and How do I Start? 

Decluttering Your Space for Mental Clarity:

In a world filled with noise, distractions, and endless obligations, simplifying your life and slowing down was once seen as radical. Minimalism was taken to the extreme with people decluttering their physical space, living in tiny homes and leaving the corporate life for working on the beach. But our physical environment can really influence our mental and emotional well-being. Clutter and disorganization can contribute to feelings of overwhelm, anxiety, and stagnation, whereas a clean, orderly space fosters a sense of calm, clarity, and inspiration.

My route didn’t go to the minimalist extreme, but did start with decluttering our home and getting rid of things that no longer served a purpose or brought us joy. Our children were in high school, and I started by going through old toys and saving only a few special ones in the attic. I then moved to general decluttering of each room in the house, including walls and closets. This was gradual, and thoughtful (for the most part, there are a few items of clothing I wish I had kept.) The first thing I noticed was space – space to breathe! You know the feeling you get when you are walking outside and you feel space around you? I was able to create that in our home and it made it a place of relaxation. It also meant fewer things I needed to dust. Sitting in the newly decluttered rooms really brought a sense of calm to us. 

Streamlining Your Schedule:

Next on the list was our schedule. Yes, we had sporting events to attend and drive children to, then it was teen work schedules to work around along with our own, but I was determined to figure out a way to create more mental space in our lives, just as I had created more physical space. We took an honest look at our commitments and obligations, identifying those that truly aligned with our priorities. Then we learned to say no to activities or engagements that didn’t add enjoyment to our lives. It was hard at first, as I am definitely the one that says yes to everything, but realized I then feel drained of time and energy. It was amazing how after a while, our calendar became empty! Just looking at that gave me a sense of peace. We then prioritized some activities we had given up, such as hikes on the weekend, and evenings sitting on the porch.  

Finding Balance in Everyday Life for Self Care:

Something that helped guide me during our transition to a slow, simple life was the community of people out there doing the same thing. I ready many books and blogs for ideas and support, but in the end you have to do what feels best for you and your family. Finally, you need to find a balance of all things in your life - work, family, and personal goals - to assure your own self-care. Set some realistic expectations that allow for flexibility depending on your season of life, or just the seasons of the year. This balance will not happen every day, but look at it over the course of a week. Setting general priorities for what matters most to you will help you create space for self-care. This is the part of my journey where I then embarked on the exploration of happiness. 

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What are Happiness and Well-being?

Defining Your Well-Being:

Well-being is a mental state of being comfortable, healthy or happy. As a mom, it's all too easy to prioritize the needs of others at the expense of our own well-being. I really didn’t think about my own well-being much, at least not on a grand scale. I often thought of it only in the moment. At that time in my life, work was becoming extremely stressful, more stressful than I had experienced in the past. Trying to figure out my own well-being was too broad of a subject to tackle easily. How could I even define it?

The internet was no help either, as the more you look things up, the deeper into Pandora’s Box you go. I started by defining what my own well-being would look like, and decided that reducing stress was paramount to feeling healthy in mind and body. Being stressed is not a strong state of mind, and having a strong mind is one of the first steps for me to having a strong body. I realized I needed a multi-pronged approach because there wasn’t one solution, and finally focused on five steps that would help me do this. From there, I created a well-being mind map that I kept on my phone. 

Identifying What Brings You Joy:

As I did this exercise, I also went down the path of learning about happiness. I started by taking a moment to reflect on the activities, experiences, and relationships that brought me joy and fulfillment, and I could see a pattern of happiness. Sometimes it was time spent with others, or walks in the woods, hobbies or pursuits – or all of it! What I really learned was that happiness isn't a destination to be reached; it's moments to be recognized each day. 

Self-care and Happiness:

When self-care activities bring you happiness, you are more likely to incorporate them into your life. That also means they are easy to do, you enjoy doing them, and they feed our soul. Think of moments of self-care throughout the week, rather than a rigid set of rules you have to follow. By having some pillars of happiness to guide you, you can find ways to provide self-care for yourself during your busy schedule. These small moments can help us replenish our energy, help us feel fulfilled and increase our happiness in life.

Pillars of self-care are going to be different for everyone. Some examples of pillars could be time for exercise, listening to music, positive interactions, healthy food, hobbies, journaling, reading, or creativity. What is important is to first identify what brings you happiness, find slots of time to engage in those activities and most importantly, recognize the positive feelings you get from doing them.

How is Gratitude Related to Self-Care?

Understanding the Importance of Gratitude:

My journey continued when I was formally introduced to the practice of gratitude. I say formally, because looking back at my journey to live a slow, simple life and define my happiness, I practiced gratitude unintentionally. Gratitude is a form of self-care because it helps you move out of negative thought patterns and replace them with positive ones. It also brings profound happiness and can improve any area of your life. Whether you want to improve your relationships, health or finance, by acknowledging and appreciating the blessings in our lives, even amidst adversity, we can cultivate a profound sense of contentment and fulfillment that manifests upon itself into a life we love. Truly this has worked for me. 

See our fill-in-the-blank gratitude journal here for an easy way to improve your life!

Cultivating a Gratitude Practice:

Incorporating gratitude into our daily routine can be as easy as a five minute reflection in the morning or evening (as I do), or more involved and formal by keeping a gratitude journal, and dedicating a few more moments of each day to reflect on things for which we're grateful. When you express gratitude, you automatically turn a situation into a positive one. Positive emotions compound on each other to increase our happiness, put us in a good mood and reduce stress. Once I started practicing gratitude, I was able to increase my happiness immeasurably. I know this sounds fake, but it has had a profound effect on my life. No matter what situation I am now in, I can find something to be grateful about, and that almost immediately brings positive feelings and reactions. 

Another aspect of practicing gratitude is love. When you look for things you love, instead of things you don’t love, you are bringing more positive feelings into your life. We aren’t used to doing this. Normally, we spend our days saying we don’t want something or don’t like something. By replacing that with what we do want and what we love, we are sending positive feelings through our body.

You can express gratitude for yourself and your situation, and you can express gratitude for what your life will bring to you. The second method of expressing gratitude is called manifestation. By repeatedly expressing gratitude for something you want to happen, you can manifest it happening over time. 

Embracing Mindfulness in Daily Life:

Mindfulness is the art of being fully present in the moment, and appreciating what is going on around you. For busy moms navigating the chaos of modern life, mindfulness isn’t easy; but by grounding ourselves in the present moment, we cultivate a deeper connection with ourselves and can express gratitude.

The happiness you find in your life depends on what you focus on. If you always focus on the negativity around you, you will attract more negative thoughts and ultimately more negative actions and situations. By journaling all the positive aspects of your life, you will focus on them and they will increase.

Happiness is also found by practicing mindfulness – focusing on the moment you are in and realizing how wonderful it is. Be grateful for it and add another dimension of happiness to it! 

Benefits of Mindfulness for Busy Moms:

The benefits of mindfulness for busy moms are many. First, we feel stressed so often that it becomes the norm. By slowing down enough to pay attention to the present, we calm our mind and focus only on the here and now. This practice improves emotional regulation, and enhances overall well-being. Additionally, I found mindfulness a way to foster stronger, more nurturing relationships with our children and my husband. 

Starting Your Self Care Journey

Incorporating everyday self-care into your life as a busy mom is not easy, but it is important. By prioritizing a slow simple life, happiness and well-being, along with gratitude and mindfulness, you can maintain a lifestyle that supports your physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Remember that self-care isn't selfish; mom’s live their best lives when you can show up with your best self for yourself and those you hold dear. Start small, be consistent but flexible, and watch as your life grows with fulfillment, and joy.